I have always known that unborn babies were people. It was instinctual, something that was solidified when I found out I was pregnant. I think everyone would realize that as well if they stopped to consider . Obviously it’s a person.
I think sometimes in the pro-life groups we tend to condemn abortion (and rightly so) but often diminish the impact of miscarriage and still births. I know I did.
How many of us have, in trying to comfort a mother who miscarried, said something like “You can try again”, or “This baby just wasn’t meant to be.”, or “at least it was early on” or “it probably wasnt healthy.”. I don’t think most people who say things along those lines are intending to diminish the impact. Quite the contrary. I think most of us are just trying to help lessen the pain. But what we end up doing, is we weaken our pro life argument.
To be truly pro life, I think we need to adjust our perspective a little, especially as Christians. How can we fight for the complete personhood of an 8 week old baby facing abortion, while forgetting the grief of our sister whose 8 week old was miscarried?
I know that to hear someone had a miscarriage is unsettling, at the very least. Most don’t know what to say, and in trying to comfort the mother, end up accidentally diminishing the child’s value.
My friends, if we want to be truly be pro-life, we need to live it fully. God is sovereign over every single life. Just because it was Him who took the baby home, instead of the mother aborting it, doesn’t change its personhood. Its innermost parts too, were knit together by His hand. We are all given a certain amount of time on earth, and our minutes are ordained by Him. Whether it’s 5 weeks, 5 years, or 5 decades doesn’t matter. Every single one of us has been planned by God from the beginning, created by Him.
As painful as it is, miscarried children deserved to be grieved too. Almost six months later, my heart aches for my son. I grieve for him as I would any other loved one, at any stage of life. I weep with other mothers who have lost their children in utero, and I feel their pain.
Let’s not forget these miscarried babies, or their mothers. If we want to create a culture of life, we need to recognize a miscarriage as any other death. The loss of a child brings an undescribable pain, and a hole in the parents’ hearts that can never be filled. Grieve with the parents. Bring the mother a meal, when she is in physical and emotional pain. Don’t forget about the child a few months later. And above all, pray.